Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
