he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
