I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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