He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
