I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
