I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
