.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We need to get me chipped asap
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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