WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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