I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
