just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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