I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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