dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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