I wish you could order shots online.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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