Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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