i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
