white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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