Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
