I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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