Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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