How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
