careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
