absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
