It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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