Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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