I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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