There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
