Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize