i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
