Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
being pregnant is like rehab
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
