If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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