she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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