Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
