he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
