yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize