Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
