I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
