talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
