Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The adults are the big ones right?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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