im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
