i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
