Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
