Im at strip club and am horny
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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