i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
