oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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