Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
