Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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