I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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