Umm I'm too high to move.
i permit you to call me
I have demons in me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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