if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
