Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
