This girl is more easily done than said...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Terrible idea I love it
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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