It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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