Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
