I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There r osticjed everywhere
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
its liver damage thursday
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
