so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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