are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
