How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I did not marry a roomba.
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