I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
