I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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