his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
