Duck Duck Cougar?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
