she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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