doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
