he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
