She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
