Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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