and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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