My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
